I need to spend just a little time ignoring the instinct to be aware of myself.
- When I am having a conversation - I need to stop judging myself every step along the way.. that only makes me say all the wrong things.
- When I allow myself to get self conscious at very inappropriate times (which is all day usually). All the while I know its ridiculous to feel that way but I can't push it off quite enough.
- I need to be more confident in what I think too. I should even be more educated in the things I think about.

- I need to accept the good things I have going on in my life and use them for motivation.
I've already started this and I have began to move forward personally. I'm glad I'm helping myself develop into the person I want to be instead of waiting for it to happen.
The other good things I have I'm starting to appreciate more and more.. like my secondary family in Minnesota and my incredible friends. I have more than three friend circles I adore, and more than one person per group that I feel comfortable opening up to. That is so amazing to me.. I'm very fortunate.
I even managed to sublet my room in the shower and not shower nazi house!
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I also have something that makes me really happy that I don't want to screw up.. It's probably too early(5 weeks) to feel ok posting anything about this here.. I just know that I'm allowing myself to enjoy this relationship, he motivates me and that I am myself with him. That is a fantastic thing in my life right now.